The Things I Would Have Loved To Understand About My Body When I Was 20

Life goes incredibly fast. And the more you grow, the more your time perspective changes and life goes even faster.

I remember when I was 16 I really wanted to be 18 because in my mind I could then do everything I wanted. Those 2 years seemed to take ages to pass. Now I am nearly 40 and I do not know where the last 5 years have gone.

A couple of weeks ago an ex school mate of mine contacted me via Facebook to invite me at our 20 years A-levels anniversary party. I almost fainted.

20 years? Is that possible?

Life is only a matter of perspective

Maturity is a word that a lot of people are scared of because for some reasons is linked to stress, responsibility, worries and the bizarre idea that when you are an adult life has to be boring.

Whilst when we were young adults we were considered immature to go out and get what we wanted, as adults we call the same actions “guilty pleasures” because somehow it is considered irrespecutful to follow our own instincts.

I spent the last 7 years of my life trying to behave as I thought it was expected when you are a grown up and I found myself bored to death. And when you are bored, you eat.

Another aspect that suddenly comes in your adult life is comfort food whilst when we were younger we were mainly concentrated to enjoy our lives, something that slowly gets in the subconscious realm of “guilty pleasure” and over weight.

On the other side, the marvellous trade off is Awareness. You have experience of the world now. You have seen many things and your career is finally peaking up. Your friends have been there for a life time now and you are still meeting lovely people that will become companions along the way.

I can honestly say that I love my life much more now than I was when I was 20.

I am now able to tame my passionate nature and decide to enter a debate whilst before I used to feel compelled to give my perspective regardless of the worthiness of the issue. Now I feel good because I found a new balance that feels right for me. I still have my outbursts sometimes, but accepting this part of me is embracing who I am.

Body. What has changed

A new decade is food for thoughts to make the point of what we have managed to accomplish and to make plans for the next one. And 40 is a big milestone for men as well as for women.

My body? Yes, it is not perfect and I would be dishonest if I say that I do not care about it anymore. I have simply stopped fighting the gap between the ideal body in my mind and the reflection in the mirror and startedĀ appreciating the realĀ me.

I now understand – and not only know – that being sexy is not about size or shape, and not even about features, but about the way we feel about ourselves. Confidence is the key. The truth is that the way you feel inside is reflected on the outside. If you feel good, people will look at you regardless of the condition of your clothes, hair or make up.

How is that possible?

Of course hair and make up can help a great deal in making us look gorgeous. But it is more a question of feeling good about ourselves that “just looking good”.

Our posture changes, our muscles relaxes and people are drawn to a person who looks relaxed because they feel at ease. They do not need to be defensive because there is nothing to worry about. In fact for me a smile can be the most endearing thing ever and conquer everyone. Much more than uncovered skin or a perfect body.

Body And Soul

Now that my body is slowly heading south I finally start appreciating how silly and blind I was when everything was pointing towards a very different direction. I was focused on what I didn’t like while now I finally appreciate what I see. I embrace who I am without focusing exclusively onto what makes me feel uncomfortable.

There are areas I want to improve but this does not take over the entire mirror. And that tunnel vision affected so much of my soul for so many years that if I ever have a regret is not having loved my body more.

The secret? Never take yourself too seriously because there is no such thing as perfection. And if it ever exists, it is boooooring.

Love yourself. Always. At 20, 30,40,50,90. Love is respect and you owe it to yourself.

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Boudoir as Intimate Stories In One Frame Fabiana Carlo Nicora fabyandcarlo.comA Wife and Husband Team photography london fabyandcarlo.com