It is already 2015, and the new year brings a long list of new year resolutions and planning for the year ahead. Every time the new year feels like it is a new beginning, and I am especially glad to welcome it this year.
The past 2014 has been a challenging year for many reasons. It has been a year of big changes – both for the good and for the not so good – where I have personally faced and learnt a lot about myself as well as others.
I have lost people I love, and met others that have been enriching our life since, I have grown personally and taken baby steps towards a healthier approach to life, and to new exciting projects.
Life is not always the way we would like it to be, but there is always a lesson to be learnt and I am grateful for every single one of them. And now I look forward to embrace what life will bring in the new year with a positive approach, and an open heart.
I will borrow my 3 new year resolutions from a famous quote I personally love from Gandhi.
My new year resolution n. 1 – Be truthful
I am mostly an honest person, in fact, respect is the most important ethical value to me. I never seek revenge when hurt because I believe that when some individuals behave in a certain way, they themselves suffer because of their own actions and beliefs, and life has its own ways to teach its lessons.
Do not get me wrong, I am human, and that means that somehow it happens that I disrespect people without realising it, and I express ideas or I act in a way that some people may find offensive, I can be judgemental and an insufferable know-it-all. I can be jealous and petty, and I certainly do get upset and even angry. I would love to have and be what others have, and all sorts of nasty stuff. Yes, it does happen and I am certainly not proud of it. But what makes all the difference to me is the our actions, not our feelings. We are all entitled to feel what we feel, but there is a difference when we act on those bad feelings.
Another very important point to me is the real intent of our actions.
If we want to help a friend, our real intention should be to purely help them, not to get them to owe us. Helping a friend because they can give us something valuable in return, means helping ourselves, really. It has nothing to do with friendship, but everything to do with a business transaction…which is not what friendship should be.
Being truthful and transparent in your intentions is for me the tipping point that make people – even those that sometimes hurt you – worthy of still been in your life.
Being truthful is being real. I am not interested in the perfection of a mask, I prefer the beautiful imperfection of the real person in front of me.
My new year resolution n. 2 – Be gentle
I love people who are kind and gentle because I treasure harmony and peace in life.
I try my best to see the best in people no matter what, but when ego gets in the way, things can get challenging, and relationships can get complicated. Negative thoughts, and even worse attitudes, can take us to a particularly nasty place where there is very little kindness left for others. We then tend to generalise and believe that people are their behaviours, when in reality they are not.
There are good people that sometimes behave badly, and bad people capable of good actions. People are not their behaviours.
Of course, to be treated with kindness I should be the first to be gentle. It is a simple formula and does not cost a thing, but apparently it is not that easy. Why is that?
Individuals have different belief systems which not always agree with our personal view of the world, and that can be a challenge, when ideas and points of view are discussed.
The majority of us tend – some people more, some less – to take a different opinion on subjects that matter to us as a personal attack. Even amongst family members it can be challenging to get along, because same blood does not necessarily mean same view. This is something I have experienced myself with great pain.
How can we break free from personal issues and start treating others gently?
Sending out into the world what we want for ourselves is my view, and part of my new year resolutions. It does not matter if people respect me or not, or are gentle, every one of us deserves to be treated gently, and to do it, we need to be willing to see the best in others. It does not mean being blind or naive, but to give others an opportunity.
We are always free to walk away from a relationship that affects our life negatively, but we need to avoid to shoot people down. Even then, even when it hurts, let’s try to be gentle, and not spiteful.
Last, but not least, let’s treat ourselves gently, because we are good enough and we are worth it.
My new year resolution n. 3 – Be fearless
Fear is our biggest enemy. It blocks creativity, action, and affects the quality of our life. Living in fear is like being a prisoner of our mind and its subtle tricks.
While the purpose of our mind is to preserve us from pain, in reality it acts like a government that takes away our rights to freedom in the name of safety.
Our minds like predictable routines and want to have everything – and everyone – under its control, but this keeping us static prevents us from growing, from doing anything new and from getting uncomfortable. When we start getting uncomfortable, our mind shows us dreadful images of painful situations as a consequence of our actions. It is just one of the many possible scenarios, but our mind makes us believe that is the only possible future.
Fear is our mind’s biggest allay. And resistance is just another word for fear. Who is in the creative field knows even better what that is. It kills action by preventing us to create, produce or just be something new.
This year, my resolution is to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. It is going to be my mantra, and it will serve my soul to grow and flourish, and help others to do the same.
By the way, do you know we teach some very useful workshops for photographers and even mentoring programs? Have a look at http://photographers.fabyandcarlo.com for 2015 dates.
And what are your 3 new year resolutions for this 2015?
Share it with us by leaving a comment below.