Why does being less judgemental with ourselves serves our customers better?

 In For Photographers

Dear me of tomorrow,
I am speaking openly to you as I know you understand that I am doing it from my heart. I know that sometimes we are not able to capture the beautiful images we see with our eyes and that from time to time we cannot express artistic selves very well; however, despite feeling liberating to scream and shout against ourselves, this generates exactly the opposite to what we want to achieve. Being overly critical about our work, even for a couple of minutes, bring us to despair and undermines our self confidence.
Can I suggest a different course of action for the next times you won’t be able to produce the results you aim for? And, yes, this implies that you will have bad days, and you will take photos you won’t be proud of, but I am sure you would never think differently as perfection would be utterly boring.

Focus on breathing

Breath. There is nothing wrong with you when you take a bad photo. Breath. There might be things you could have done better, but now that the moment is gone, the best you can do is to move on. Breath. There are valuable lessons you can learn, from any mistake you will make. Breath. Let the steam leave your body gently, without forcing it out. Breath. You will feel better. Breath.

Saying “this is all s**t” won’t solve the issue, but will put you down

Have you ever been bullied at school? Of course, you have! As you are my future and I have been bullied in my past. So go back to when they told you you were an imp. How did you feel? Did you think they were just bullies and moved on, or did you close in yourself, moaning about your height (or lack of it)?
If you don’t remember, let me remind few things for you. Being reminded what you are not, what you cannot do and that you are s**t did not do any good to your self confidence. The only thing being bullied did was to create a spiral that led you to be negative. It did not feel good.
So why do you think that bullying yourself by saying so many bad things about your art will do any good. Do you realise it, right? Next time things won’t go as planned, don’t whip yourself: you would become your own bully.

Even Superman has Kryptonite

Dear me of the future, let me be as clear as I can: you will fail again. Playing the superman is neither fun nor realistic. Even Superman has Kryptonite, so for your own well being, stop thinking that living a life without failure would be awesome.

When you fail, and you don’t hit yourself hard, you learn.
When you learn you get better.
When you get better, you raise your standards.
…then you will fail again.

But if you take on yourself hard, there will be no lessons to be learned. You will spend your time recovering from your self bullying instead of learning, and you won’t raise your standards. You will just fail again. You don’t want to do this, trust me.

The effect on your next customers

The customer you will have tomorrow will leave out of your today’s behaviour. If you tear yourself to pieces for the mistake you did today, you will face her tomorrow with the words you told yourself still in your mind.
If you are kind with yourself today, you will take the same kindness tomorrow, working with a light heart and with a bright smile. But if you fill your heart and your soul with negativity today, those will be the emotions you will evoke tomorrow.
Nobody says you should be oblivious to your mistakes, but you should take them in a kind and constructive way. As confidence breeds confidence, kindness breeds kindness.

Your today’s you.

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The Silver Lining of Boudoir by Fabiana Carlo Nicora at fabyandcarlo.com