Is there a map on how to find yourself? While every journey is different, there are things we can do to help ourselves find and nurture that voice inside of us. Deep down that voice wants to be heard, freed and embraced. That is you. The real you.
But how to find yourself in the confusion of all the chatter in your head?
1. Listen to yourself
Have you ever felt bad for feeling a pang of jeaoulosy for our friend’s svelte figure, or having messed up our diet once again, or skipped that class at the gym. You have been taught that those emotions are “bad” and “you are bad” for being jealous, lazy and for having no willpower, right?
But the good news is that in reality our emotions are neutral. They become “good” or “bad” because someone labels them as such. In this case, you.
For me, the biggest discovery in understanding how to find myself was that my emotions are not my enemies. We do not have to fight our feelings or suppress them, on the contrary we need to notice them and listen to the message they are trying to send me.
It is part of being human to feel, in fact, those feelings are there for a reason. They are our compass in life. And as a compass, we should look at our emotions, acknowledge the direction we need to take, and put them away when we do not need them anymore.
2. There is nothing wrong with you
Do you think of you as a bad person? Of course not. But how many times you have said that to yourself out of guilt for some “unruly” behaviour? Maybe you have eaten that slice of chocolate cake and you should not have, and you thought “I have been bad”. One of the secrets on how to find yourself is to listen carefully to your internal dialogue, especially when you do not do the things the way you think you are supposed to. If you want to know how to find yourself, you should first treat yourself with kindness.
The way you talk to yourself has a powerful effect because it affects the way you see and perceive yourself, for the good and for the bad.
There is nothing wrong with you and me, and yet, we believe we should be other than we are. But if you could see yourself as someone who loves you, beautiful and unique exactly as you are here and now, you will see that there is nothing wrong with you, and you would not try to be different from who you really are. The path to how to find yourself is kindness and acceptance, because there is nothing wrong with you, nothing in the world you need to fix, or feel bad about.
3. You can do anything
It is a fact that you can do anything. I have learned this myself not long ago.
I have always had the idea that I was not “good enough” in quite few things. To give you an example, organisation or being practical is not something that comes natural to me, but I have been learning and practiced those skills, and achieved some encouraging results since. On the path to understanding how to find yourself, you will find that help and support comes from unexpected sources. For me, my teacher was my son, who asked me to help him with a modelling project. Embarrassed, I replied I didn’t know how to, but he simply stopped me, and said “Mum, you can do anything, you will just need to find a way”. And he was right, because in the end, I managed to help him. The secret? Ask yourself “how can I do this”? Marvellous opportunities open up to you when you start a sentence with “how” instead of “I do not”.
“The only person in the way of greatness is you”. Have you already heard that quote? Sure, you have.
If you want to know how to find yourself and embrace it, you need to take a step back and imagine you are watching a film, and when you hear the chatter that says that you are not good enough, notice that voice, feel your emotions without judging them, remember that there is nothing wrong with you and you can do anything, and you will have the key on how to find yourself. Yes, it is a lifelong journey, but it is going to be the best you will ever had.