Tell me how you react to compliments and I will tell you if you believe in yourself. So, if you are one of those persons always ready to shy away, you need to believe in yourself a bit more. So, if when someone compliments you you smile and say “Thank You“, then you are on the right path.
In this post I will dig deeper in why if you believe in yourself you are more prone to succeed. The first step is to recognise the symptoms. The second is to cure the cause. This is a two step process which is simple and gives immediate results. You can believe me, read this article and change your life. Or you can think you know better and not tackle the elephant in the room. It is your call!
Believe in yourself means acknowledge your achievements
Let me start by saying this: if you don’t value your achievement, to believe in yourself is going to be a challenge. Many people think that “achievement” is something that has to be big. Very few people feel that small daily achievement can build up self confidence. You should not wait for the big break to be proud of what you did. You should cherish the small things. I am very proud I am writing this blog post right now.
To believe in yourself, you need to go one step further than acknowledging your achievements. You need to accept compliments. This is a big one, especially for women. When someone gives you a compliment for something you have done, smile and say “Thank You“. We all know we have an inner voice that tells us that what we did was actually nothing. Faby always shies away when I compliment her for her cooking, as she does not believe in her cooking skills. In doing that she lowers her self confidence without even realising it.
So, what do we say to ourselves when we reach an achievement, even a small one? “Well done!”
Why you should believe in yourself
To become an expert you need to practice for 10.000 hours. The more your practice, the more of an expert you will be. Now, if you are good at something, it is because you are on your path to becoming an expert. Those thousands of hours spent in becoming an expert matter. If you don’t believe in yourself you are actually wasting your expertise.
Negating your skills means that you are lowering yourself. If you believe in yourself and in what you can do, you have to understand that not everyone can. I cannot read people’s emotions as well as Faby. Yet, I am a better organiser than her. This does not mean that she can’t get more organised. It does not mean I cannot become better at reading peoples. It means that there are skills I have and Faby doesn’t and vice versa.
All this means that you have to understand that what you do know is not someone else knows as well. IT would be almost offensive towards other to give knowledge for granted.
The main indicator that you don’t believe in yourself enough
How many times, after receiving a compliment, have you played down. You may think it is modesty, because understating and being humble is good. Guess what? You have put a nail in your confidence. Acknowledging a compliment does not defy the rule of society. It preserve yourself.
The challenging part in this is actually realise you are doing it. We are so engulfed in our way of living, that we give things for granted. If we took care at how we reply, we could notice that we shy away especially in certain sit. We don’t have “that” voice telling us we are not enough every time. We are using it only when we are not confident enough in one of our skills.
Guess what? Not accepting a compliment will push us back. Every time we say “oh, it’s nothing special” we are losing 10 hours of our expertise. Every single time. How are we going to become experts if we do two step forward and one back every couple of days?
How do you silence “that” inner voice and believe in yourself
We all have it. It is that voice that tells you that what you did was nothing special. You have it as well. Alas, that voice is more dangerous than you think. That voice is telling you that you and your skills are not valuable. You would not allow anyone else to treat you like your inner voice treats you. So it is time to learn how to stop.
To believe in yourself you have to silence “that” inner voice. You need only two simple things: distance yourself from it and thank the people who compliment you.
To distance yourself form that voice you can say “Thanks for sharing“.
To acknowledge your achievements you can reply to any compliment with “Thank you“.
Do you think you can do that? I guarantee you will live much better if you believe in yourself.