Life is a journey. In my brief experience of this life, from teenagerhood to being 40, I have found and lost many people, missed many opportunities, being in wrong relationships, believed in fairies and fought doubts and fears. And still I regret nothing.
Actually there is no single mistake I am not proud of.
Surely I would have done better without a few silly decisions, but in the end everything, in its own special way, contributed to the quirky 40 years old woman I am today.
I am aware that the journey is still long, but I feel I am on the right track to becoming the person I have always wanted to be.
A kinder Life
It is such a strange feeling, but turning 40, like any other big milestone in the life of a human being, is an opportunity time to reflect on life.
Achievements? Goals? Plans? I have not made many in my life because I have had always been convinced that everything is going to be ok in the end. No matter what kind of shit you have to face, things are going to be just fine.
Some people are scared to go through life without planning every single step of the way and believe me, I use to be a bit of a control freak -and still am a bit – but I am slowly learning to let go and treat myself more gently.
How do you stop from having thoughts that do not serve you?
By being aware of what is going on inside you as well as around you. Because if you believe that things are going to be ok, they simply will.
Too agitated to think clearly? The solution is to Breath. It will calm you down, no matter what is going on in your life.
I do not remember where I read it, but the sentence “you cannot control your first though, but you can control your second one” contains a great truth that I have been practicing a lot. And it works most of the times.
Now it’s the Time
We all complain about the lack of time or we wonder where the time goes when we meet with other people after a long time. But time is the one element that does not really expands or shrinks. It remains constant. So why when we are kids it seems like we have a huge amount of time at our disposal and our summer days are infinitely long, while when we become adults 5 years feels as quick as a sneeze…?
Awareness and focus are the answers.
When you are a child, everything is new, exciting and therefore takes your complete attention. We used to be so engrossed in the activity we were doing in that moment that time seemed to magically expand. It happened because you were present in the moment.
When you grow up, you have experience of the cause and effect of a great variety of situations, and as those outcomes are familiar to you, you just unconsciously compare similar experiences to make decisions in your life.
For example, we do not need to pay much attention to the itinerary to drive home in our own city, but if we find ourselves in an unfamiliar place, we certainly do.
There is no big mystery when time is concerned. When we think we know everything already, we act on automatic pilot and do not use our consciousness. Being conscious and aware is necessary to feel and be present in the moment to appreciate your life while it happens.
Another change in my life is the appreciation of silence. Years ago, I remember fearing a quiet moment. I had to fill that gap with my voice at all costs (I am Italian!). Often this resulted in paying dearly my lack of judgement and focus by missing completely what was going on. Saying the wrong thing in the wrong moment, just for the sake of filling that moment of silence, makes us miss important opportunities to really see and be present for the people that matters in our life.
Now that I have turned 40, my commitment to myself and others is to focus on being present, by listening and seeing more and stop being distracted. I want to see you. I want to look at you and see who you are to make your experience with us even better.
My commitment is to make you feel as you should always feel. Listened to, beautiful and great.
After all being 40 is a great advantage.
You look great, you have quite a bit of experience and are in the very best part of your life. I think I will enjoy life much more from now on. Hurray for being 40!