Change. Such a small word, and such big fear around it.
What is about change that is so scary? Embracing change implies dealing with unfamiliar situations, and that feels uncomfortable to all of us.
As human beings, we love routine, familiarity and situations we already know, because they make us feel comfortable, safe and in control, but, alas, they do not allow growth.
So, how can we get past the fear of change?
The secret of embracing change is to see it as an exciting prospective rather than a scary one. Let’s see how we can do that.
1. Embracing change as change is progress
Everything alive trasforms, changes and grows. Where there is staticity, there is no life as we know it. Human beings have survived and strived because of their ability to adapt. We have survived by embracing change and learning from it. We have been learning vital skills and passed it on to the new generations to become what we are now. Beautifully imperfect beings.
Every step we took as babies have lead us to walking. Every babble has lead us to speaking. When we were kids, embracing change was part of our growing up, and we never judged it as good or bad, it just was. Growing teeth was a bit uncomfortable, adapting to our teenage bodies took a while, but those changes took us where we are now. And now as grownups, we often fight or resist change, or seen it ss something bad we need to avoid.
Change is a beautiful process that is inevitable and vital, and it is what life is made of. The positive or negative meaning we give to embracing change depends on our idea of what change is, and not what change really is. Change happens in every single moment, and we cannot control it. It is up to you to decide how you want to see it, if it is going to be something scary to avoid, or something exciting to embrace.
2. Control, the killer of change
We believe we are in control of our lives, and everything that challenges this idea frightens us. That is the reasons why instead of embracing change, we do whatever it takes to keep things as they are. We try to control our loved ones, and the circumstances of our life, but change is inevitable. Because change will happen, whether we want it or not, the idea we can control anything outside of ourselves is an illusion.
How can we let go of our control issues and learn to embracing change instead?
Every time that shit hits the fan, I do 2 things;
I cannot think. I am scared. I panic.
Thinking of embracing change, or trying to figure out anything if my mind is rushing like a headless chicken, is useless. Breathing calms me down and grounds me to planet sanity again.
I cannot control the outcome, but what I can control, is my breathing.
b. Ask myself “What is the lesson I need to learn from this?”
This question has been incredibly helpful when my father died suddenly in an accident. Every time the pain and the shock tried to take over, I asked myself the same question. When I found my answer, I transformed such a tragic and sad circumstance in an opportunity to learn something invaluable for my life. It was a lesson that came at a cost, but has enriched my life and the of my loved ones as a result.
There are things that happen we cannot explain. This is life. In order to live your life at its fullest, you need to be able to embracing change, whatever life may bring. The outcome is always going to be the same, but your experience of life will be incredibly different.
3. The best happens outside your comfort zone
Repetition is the mother of mastery, and we all love the feeling of being good at something without too much of an effort, right?
But what happens when we become so complacent with what we have achieved? We become stuck, and set in our own ways. We resist new ideas and situations that can lead us far from what we already know.
The fear of stepping in the realm of the unknown, or incompetence, can be devastating, especially if you, like me, are a perfectionist.
Embracing change means stepping outside your comfort zone, because it is only there that real growth and exciting surprises can happen. Only outside your comfort zone, you will discover that you are worth much more than you think. That is why our Boudoir Experience is often so transformative and liberating for so many women.
How do get outside our comfort zone so that we can embrace change?
Here are 2 useful steps:
a. Detach from the outcome
When you pile up so much life experience under your belt, you can easily predict the possible outcomes of a situation. You already know whether you can expect danger, pain, or something good from a circumstance because your beautiful brain makes quickly all the connections with the information available from past experiences. But embracing change means letting go of that little voice in your head that wants you safe and still, to enjoy the process. I you are serious about embracing change, your focus should be the process, not the outcome.
Be a kid again and enjoy freedom of learning something new without putting any judgement on the end result, but just for the sake of doing something new.
b. Mistakes are feedback
Would you ever tell your child off for falling while learning how to walk? We are aware that every fall is a further step towards learning how to walk, but why we do not apply the same principle for us as grownups? Why do we beat ourselves up for not being good enough?
Because of our distorted idea of what mistakes are. Mistakes are feedback that help us see where we are at in the process of learning.
That is all there is.
c. Take action, take action, take action
When in doubt, do something. You did it wrong? Do it again, and again, and again until you do it right. Because you will get it right. Enjoy the process while you always keep your goal in mind.
I am a big fun of embracing change, because I know that there is so much to gain from learning something new in life, and from remaining positively open to what life brings.
I will leave you with my personal mantra from a master of embracing change:
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein