Positive mental attitude: do you talk to others the way you talk to yourself?
A positive mental attitude is a blessing, it is what makes you see the good things in life instead to the negative ones. A positive mental attitude is that “can do approach” that is so winning; however, it is something that is quite difficult to achieve. A positive mental attitude needs a kind environment to flourish, and too many times we treat ourselves as we would never treat our friends. The words we use to refer to our mistakes, or what we perceive to be our weaknesses, are incredibly harsh, and they affect the ability to implement a positive mental attitude.
Do you use the same words to talk to your friends as those you use in your internal dialog? Or would you be ashamed of saying the same things to someone else? Let us cast some light on how you can build a positive mental attitude.
The positive mental attitude is feed by your thoughts
“I am such an idiot! I am just rubbish at writing that I should have known that I would have eventually f****d up everything!”
Raise your hands those who have never talked to themselves like this. It happens, right? You do something wrong and you just state the obvious. But let me show you another side of the same:
“You are such an idiot! You are just rubbish at writing that I should have known that you would have eventually f****d up everything!”
How does it sound now? Would you ever talk to someone else like this? I bet you wouldn’t, so why are you using the same words in your internal dialog? A positive mental attitude is fed by your thoughts, of course by the positive ones. If you feed yourself with despicable words, with harsh judgement and negative attitudes, the positive mental attitude will not grow.
“I did not write this in the best of ways. I did a mistake, but I am sure that if I understand why will be able to do it better the next time”
Well, how does it sound now?
A positive mental attitude is fostered by kindness. How kind are you with yourself? Are you treating yourself nicely? Are you using your words wisely as when you are talking to others?
kindness: the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.
You have to be your best friend, not your worst critic. Last week I had the pleasure of photographing a beautiful model for a personal project. Despite her beauty, her incredibly interesting traits, she was focussing on what she did not like about her body almost with rage; however, when she was talking about her daughter, her eyes filled with an incredible amount of love. At a certain point, after yet another aggressive comment on herself, I asked “Would you ever talk to your daughter like this?“. It did not take her the blink of an eye to reply that she would have never treated her daughter like that, yet she still treated herself harshly.
The words we us in our internal dialog are important. We do not discriminate the things that are told to us from someone else or from ourselves. If we want to live a happy life, we need to be kind with ourselves, otherwise we will be the first reason of our unhappiness.
How to develop your positive mental attitude?
A positive mental attitude is a matter of routine. Exactly how it happens for feeling proud, if you want to develop your positive mental attitude, you need to train yourself to kindness. When you talk to yourself, focus on using positive words and try your hardest to stop criticising yourself. If you really need to underline something negative, make sure to combine with other positive notes.
The hardest thing to do is to realise you are talking harshly to yourself. You do not give your own words towards yourself the same attention you use for those you speak to someone else, hence you need to start listening to yourself. When you have an internal conversation, make sure to note the words you use to describe yourself, your actions, goals and outcomes. Like the memories that distracts you while meditating, you need to be mindful of your words. This, more than anything else, is what will develop a positive mental attitude towards yourself, and through it, towards the world!