Being disconnected in today’s connected world sounds like a joke.
How can you be disconnected when you reach all the information and people around the globe with just one click?
Every single little technological toy we own is connected to the Interent to give us whatever experience or information we look for. 24-7. But we are more connected to the world and more lost than ever.
If we think about it, it is virtually impossible to be alone.
When we go to work we immerse in a book or we check our e-mails to exclude the constant noise of the world and to avoid awkward contact with strangers.
At work there are more e-mails, telephone calls, bosses, colleagues, meetings and of course work.
If you have children, you already experience the marvellous – and challenging – feeling of always being present for someone else. You can carve a couple of hours out of your day that you use to do things before the routine of the day starts again.
Nowadays not even week-ends or holidays are noise-free. We get mad if in the resort the Internet connection is too slow or not working. Total Tragedy.
When was the last time you were alone with your thoughts?
I mean no music, TV, talking to somebody, doing things or worrying for others.
When was the last time you actually had nothing on your mind?
I have these rare moments when I am in the shower. I am alone and there is silence. I do not have TVs or Iphones to play with or touch.
That is when I have those moments of clarity. I relax and I get in touch with me – my soul – again. I feel the soothing white noise of water on me, I feel my muscles relax and I can hear my internal voice. In that moment I feel connected again and I realise that I felt neglected. I did not take care of me.
The guilt trap
We are so worried all the time about not paying enough attention to our partners, children and friends, but what about ourselves?
We are so disconnected from our needs that we do not even realise we need peace and quiet and quality time with ourselves.
And when that little internal voice of ours tries to tell us something, it is drawn by the noise of the world around us.
So what do we do when we feel unsatisfied or down?
We feel less guilty to take our credit card out for an expensive luxury item that will be soon forgotten in our wardrobe than to allow ourselves to enjoy something that will actually add some value to our life.
As women we have been programmed all our life to take care of others and we are concerned to be judged as selfish if we do something just for us.
We stop and think about our needs only when we hit a big milestone or dramatic change happens. That is the moment we feel justified to take time to service our souls along with our bodies.
My recipe for a more enjoyable life is to stop. Stop thinking about what others may think of what you do, are and believe. Stop now.
My wise and lovely mother-in-law once told me that I will be a good example as a mother only I feel good about who I am as a person.
Lead by example. Damn true. I made that my philosophy in life.
It is not being selfish, it is about being true to yourself. If you are happy, you will make people around you happy.
If you are thinking of doing something daring, or mad, and you feel it will make you feel good, go for it. What do you have to lose?
This is the life you have and it is right here, right now. Enjoy it.