The importance of not having expectations
Expectations can seriously screw up your life. And I am serious when I say that because if you expect something from someone, it is inevitable that – sooner or later – you are going to be disappointed.
And yet we have expectations for our children, our parents, our partners, our friends and our bosses.
We expect loyalty, respect, friendship, honesty, integrity and love.
We expect to be understood even when we do not communicate.
We expect people around us to believe in what we believe, and, in fact, to share the same values.
But what is worse, we expect people close to us to do what they say they are going to do. And when that does not happen, relationships become hell.
Expectations. What they are
Expectations are more than a simple hope that something will turn out to be ok, it is the actual assumption that things will go as hoped or planned. It also means that we take for granted the outcome of a certain situation or the behaviour of a person.
It is quite funny, but we are definitively more keen on letting go on circumstances not being the way we want by blaming our “bad luck”, but when it comes to people, we project our expectations onto someone else to fulfil their role in our life. And when it does not happen, relationships turn sour.
The key to happiness
The simple and plain reality of things is that everybody needs and therefore wants something. We all have desires, wishes, dreams, expectations to be satisfied. And when a particular need high in our personal list of priorities is not fulfilled, the void that we all try to fill, leaves space to drama, misunderstandings and a lot of ego talk. Even with people we actually love.
Friendship and love are those close relationships in which – sadly – we expect the most. We should remember more often that love is real when we wish the best for the other person regardless of whether the outcome is in your favour or not.
We should love unconditionally and do things for people we love without expecting anything in return. Because when we do not have expectations, we enjoy every single moment we share with others, and we appreciate every single act of kindness that comes our way. When we stop expecting people to act in a certain way, we appreciate who they really are and not what they can do or be for us. When we stop having expectations, we just see situations for what they are. Simple.
When we stop having expectations, we stop complaining and blaming others for our own life.
Expectations are our way of trying to be in control of life, but it is definitively something we should give up because our attempt to control something unpredictable is an illusion that leads to delusion and pain, something that we try to avoid by trying to control it.
What life and people have in common is that they are beautifully unpredictable, and this is one of the reasons why we should not have any expectations, but just love them unconditionally. Because love is all we need.