The pursuit of happiness. 4 surprising reasons why we get lost along the way
Being happy is the ultimate goal of many human beings, me included.
So what prevents us from being happy?
Here I have listed my personal top 4 reasons why we stick to what we know instead of trying something new that might actually make all the difference.
1. Lack of Purpose
I had one obsession when I was a kid; becoming a fashion designer. It never happened for me because my parents absolutely rejected everything that wasn’t traditional education. On the other hand, I did not believe I could do it without their support, so end of story.
I felt lost for a long long time and I did not know what my purpose in life was. I did what was expected of me without feeling truly fulfilled or satisfied, but I could not find my own path.
The secret is making the most out of situations. I was in love with visual arts and eventually I found a way of expressing my art through photography.
If something does not happen it does not mean it is the end. But rest assured that if you believe it is, then it will certainly be.
If I could give a piece of advice to my younger self I would tell her to persist, believe and find a way. If you really want something you find a way or you do not want it enough.
2. Lack of Clarity
Have you ever felt like a headless chicken running in circles to start over again and again? I have and for a long time.
Even if you are absolutely passionate about what you do, in oder to succeed you need to have clear in your mind what you want to achieve. Once you have that, everything else will come into place. You will be much more alert on spotting opportunities that will come your way.
Having your goals and your list of priorities on a piece of paper where you can look at them, will make your life much easier. It is difficult to get lost along the way if you have constant references and reminders of what you want in front of your eyes.
Here there is one example that I find illuminating. When I was pregnant I could see expectant women everywhere whilst before I rarely took notice of any. Why is that? Because when become aware of what you want, you suddenly become fine tuned on the right “frequency” of what you want.
There is no magic trick in what I am talking about. It is simply your awareness and attitude that contribute to shaping the reality around you. How? By making your attention sharper around what you are focused on.
3. Feeling uncomfortable with what is “new”
Why are we so resistant to take action towards achieving what we want?
Because the idea of learning something new is exciting, but the learning process -getting there – can be painful. It is uncomfortable because as adults we are used to being experts and competent in our field, and as a consequence we experience our temporary ignorance or lack of experience as negative.
The same is when we stretch not only our abilities but ourselves. This is the main reason why most of us stay in the same boring job, think of exercising more but they do not actually do it and so on.
What worked for me is devoting 30 minutes of my day to try something new. Slowly this will become a habit and at the same time you will become more flexible and confident about the possibility of acquiring new abilities or doing something different because you will see the results of your consistent efforts.
4. Lack of time
24 hours clearly are not enough. How many times have I thought that? Thousands, if not more.
But then I see people with the same amount of time at their disposal accomplishing so much that I wonder what they do different from me.
The key word is “time management“. I am not a master in organisation, but I am lucky enough to have Carlo who is a real wizard. Thanks to him I am slowly mastering the art of getting organised and magically my day has expanded without compromising the quality of my work or my time with my family.
Reminders, to do lists, useful softwares like Asana to keep track of your tasks are useful ways to a better use of your time.
Happiness is a state of mind
If we say “I will be happy when” we just give importance and power to external events in our life to happen in order for us to be happy.
We can improve things and situations around us so that it can be easier for us to feel good, but there is one simple truth: happiness is a state of mind. And as such, we can be happy in any moment despite what happens to us. Your perception of life and life events is what really counts in the pursuit of happiness. If you think the world is a good place, then it will be.
And where are you in the pursuit of happiness? Let us know by leaving a comment below.
And Thanks for caring.